I don’t think ive ever worn this shirt to such perfection. Still have no idea why he held up a map of the city.

Staying in hostels you get your fair share of pretty dud room mates. Im not talking about people that just keep to themselves and don’t talk much, thats their decision to do so, and i do it myself depending where i am. Im talking about the retards that come in at 3:30am and turn the light on because they cant use their phone light to find their bed which is 2m away. And then they decide to have a shower in the ensuite instead of the shared facilities down the hall. I hate these people and want to punch them in the face.

However, my Rome hostel has been great (apart from the aforementioned dud). Spent the first day roaming around Rome (ha!) with a guy from Bendigo. The fact he used the word ‘sheila’ to describe all the hotties that walked past us was good enough reason for me to chill with him. One of the other guys in the room was from Melbourne, and he’s a bit more like me. He likes to socialise with the people in the room and hostel at night etc, but just wants to be alone to walk around the city and do the tourist stuff at his own pace. Something which I tend to do unless im not really strapped for time and can afford to go slowly with others.

Now the Russian. Sergy the Russian was staying in the room for a couple of nights. This guy was a crack up as soon as I met him, just says the funniest stuff all the time in a crazy accent. He was born in Russia and spent the first 5 years of his life there, and then his parents emigrated to new york so his english is perfect. It was time for him to leave so we all said our goodbyes and safe travels etc etc. Fast forward to later that night about 11pm, me and the other guys just got back from checking the Colosseum out at night, back in the room and BAM there was Sergy. ‘What are you doing here?’ we all asked. He went to the airport and then decided he didn’t want to leave so he just didn’t get on the plane and instead caught a train back to the hostel. The plane ticket was $500. He said that an ‘opportunity’ had come up and he was going with his gut and wants to stay. All at once we all blurted out ‘whats her name?’. It was a chick he met a week or so ago in Poland and they kept in contact and she said he should come visit her. Chicka chicka bow wow.

So then fast forward again to the next day. Me and the dude from Melbourne are downstairs checking emails and having some cheap wine, its 6:50pm. Sergy is there and says he’s going to some cool place for dinner he just has to get his wallet. We say yea sweet but wait about 20mins and we will come as well. He agrees. He then spots a chick sitting two tables down and goes and starts talking to her. This dude is pretty smooth, he talks to all the chicks everywhere. The conversation goes on, and on. I can tell from her accent that she’s mad bogan, and I was correct, she’s from the Central Coast. About an hour goes on and he’s still talking to her, and we are getting hungry. We go over to them and he says we can have dinner later, come and sit with us for some drinks. So we do that, have some more wine and beer, and somehow we have gained the presence of another chick from Melbourne. I still have no idea what her connection was to anyone at the table, she wasn’t even staying in the same hostel. She was kind of hot I guess, but the 4cm of makeup could have been deceiving me.

Its now about 9:30pm and time for finding places for dinner is quickly disappearing. The chicks finally realise how far away this place is that Sergy wanted to go, so instead we opted to just go around the corner. All six of us got the 19 euro dinner, which was bruschetta, pasta, chicken and potatoes and dessert. With quite a bit of wine thrown in the mix. Pretty good value for Rome. We all get back to the hostel and Sergy goes and borrows one of the ipads to check his email. I don’t really know whats going on but he’s sitting on his own being a bit of a recluse for once.

Wake up in the morning and Sergy is gone. Dude from Melbourne told me that Sergy got an email from his boss back in NYC saying if you don’t come back today you are fired. So he rushed off to the airport at the crack of dawn that morning to get on the first flight back.

Silly silly man. Blinded by boobs.